This is a hard one.

 Baby K Feb 2018

Baby K July 2018

This post is a hard one that I have been putting off for this

long because it was a big hurt that took time to heal. Its still a 

little tender but God is good and I Praise Him.

We were blessed to run along side this boy (our boy)

for 5 months. He was a Joy. This was the first time I

had a baby bond so quickly and fully to me. When we 

got baby K we were told he is going to be adopted so he

may be with us a while and that was fine with us. We did 

all the court visits as mom was given chances to change her

mind, after the first court visit mom stopped coming. We

would still go, make an appearance, then be excused 

until the next court date ( CPFSA was doing all 

the needed work between dates to get rights terminated

so he could be placed with his forever family.)

The end of May was the termination hearing. They wanted

to move him into a long term home at that time (as we

are just a short term place of safety), but my momma heart

said no, and I fought to keep him. They let us.... fast forward to July.

 I keep checking in with CPFSA (didn't know if

I should make travel plans as usual or not if we

would still have Baby K with us) and they are telling

me it will be probably 3-4 months for him to be placed with his

forever family, so we let them know we are willing to keep him

until he is placed. But then we learn the mom is dragging her feet, 

she doesn't want to sign off on the papers to terminate rights. 

Come to find out, after

the monthly placement meeting in July, That the bio mom has

changed her mind and wants him back. CPFSA then gives her a year (so

from now until the summer of 2019)

to find a place to live and get a job so she can care for him. Visitaion

would start this fall to help with the bonding. 

Then they turn to us. They are willing to let us keep him, but it will be another

year.... I wasn't ready for that. I didn't expect ever getting a choice.

Every time before we would get 

 a call and get a baby, we get another call the baby goes.

My mommas heart was crying out YES! keep him, protect him

love him, don't let him go to another children's home.

But then God spoke up reminding me "you can't pour out of 

an empty vessel" and I knew thats where I was at. I had been feeling

guilty about the 'leftovers' Neiah had been getting that summer because 

there was a lot going on and a lot of back and forth with Baby K's situation.

I had to think of her and how another year loving on Baby K would effect 

her and him. Would he be able to bond fully to his bio mom if he was already

bonded to Neiah and I? How would it effect Neiah (and me) to have him for

15 months then have to let him go.... what if after the year the bio mom still

didn't have her things together and we were back at square one him being 

put in a long term home... What if.....

Then I opened up and read in Samuel and it specifically talked 

about David staying at En Gedi and how Saul was chasing him, but

David stood firm that he would not kill Saul because God 

had placed him in authority, and David respected that authority. 

What that spoke to me is I am David at En Gedi, CPFSA is 

the authority. They see the big picture in these situations 

with the babies and families, they know things I do not.

I need to respect that and not try to fight them for what 

I think is best for the child, when I can't see the big picture.

So after a lot of tears and a hard goodbye, Baby K was 

taken and placed in a different home, so he can start

visiting and bonding with his bio mom.

I am so thankful for a great big God who loves our Baby K

so much more then Neiah and I. I am so thankful that I 

can turn to him and He can grant me the peace and healing/calm

that only He can. He knows, He understands. This is the first

time things have gone this way and it was hard, BUT I know all

the babies placed with us will not be "ideal' situations, and that we

must Trust God even in the hard, even when we want to muscle it

on our own and do what we think is best. God is Good. Always. 

The End.

Prayers appreciated for Baby K and his bio mom as they start

visitation this Sept. Prayers appreciated for Neiah and I as we

get ready (after a much needed break) to head home and take

in any others that Jesus needs us to love and run along side.

Thanks.

Sea Container

Last week we were blessed with the arrival of one

of Harvest Calls bi annual sea containers, and with it

came donations, and supplies that (Lord Willing) will

help us the next 6+ months.

An added blessing of this was the timing of the 

sea containers arrival to us from port, was the same

time that a Harvest Call team was at JDV (where we unload 

the sea container to sort and later distribute using box trucks.)

It was a huge blessing to have the extra hands as we unloaded, 

(it arrived at 10 p.m. at night), and then the next few days sorted, 

and reloaded into box trucks to be delivered to the local ministires

we support En Gedi included.

It was also wonderful to have lots of eager hands that were willing to 

hold and play with a cute baby boy so I could spend a few hours each 

day focused on the sea container distributions.

So thankful another one is done and we are now set up

for the next few months!

Running Away

In May the kids and I were blessed with a long weekend (Labor Day

here in Jamaica). Neiah was off school, and this gave us the 

perfect opportunity to run away for the weekend.

 We were able to get a good price on a hotel we love and is 

very kid friendly.

 for 4 days we spent our days going back and forth from the pool

 to the beach/ocean.

This time away was very much needed all around. I am so thankful

God blessed us with this opportunity for us to relax, slow down 

and just have fun for a few days.

Now back to reality.

The last few weeks

 Happy Easter from us here at En Gedi!

Neiah loves her role as big sister

Last week we were able to stop at New Hope for 

a few mins. It was so good to see the kids there and

so funny to watch them respond to little K. Most

of them acted like they have never seen a little

baby before.

 After spending the last 3 out of 4 weeks up at KP

with teams we are done, and back home.

Now the catch up begins.

 Both Neiah and K love being outside we 

we spend lots of time out in the yard.

 This boy is a little chunk.

Soon his thighs are going to be to big for this seat.

Neiah's newest pupil for class.

Love You M

This past Monday the boys went to court. We were told to have M's

bags packed as there was a chance he would go with family.

 It was a long day at court, but in the end M was able to go home with

Grandma and Uncle who were both there, wanting him, trying to

care for him before he was removed, but because of his bio mom's 

mental condition she never gave them the opportunity. Now that 

(Lord willing) bio mom is in a place getting the proper help she needs,

Grandma and Uncle were ready and willing to step up and care for M.

 We will miss this goof. (Neiah probably most of all as he was

her #1 play buddy), but we are so THANKFUL that he is back

with his bio family that have been fighting for him, and wanting 

to take care of him. Prayers appreciated as they transition into 

this new normal.

Little K we get to hang out with for a while longer. His mom was 

there, and she would love to take him home, But she is very young,

has another baby already at home, and grandma is unable or unwilling

to financially provide for another grand baby. Little K is adoptable

and is now waiting to be matched with his forever family.

Prayers appreciated that he is matched quickly so proper bonding

can happen. 

Finding a New Groove

 This past week was a busy one. We are thankful for a low key

weekend where we can catch up on our rest. And it always helps

to have a resting buddy.

Little Boy... Big Couch.

 Fresh and clean.

This past week the boys and I spent our days

up at Kp helping to host the team there.

 The boys got to experience the big tree cookout for 

the first time.

 This team is such a blessing. Not only in their friendships and 

how we get our 'tanks' filled during our time with them, but they

also blessed us with bringing us formula and rice cereal for the boys,

and willing hands to help out with them whenever needed.

 The Amazing Iowa team that blessed us this past week.

This past weekend, we were also blessed with a visit from

Grandma Kris and Grandpa Neil. They were able to stay with us

over the weekend, and were such a huge help with Neiah and the

boys. We were so blessed by and Thankful for them!

A Little Catch Up...

Happy New Year.... In March.

I feel like we hit the ground running when we

got back from the states in March. I knew I was

coming back to the electrical situation that still

wasn't solved, But PRAISE JESUS! it now is.

I am HAPPY to say that En Gedi is now

'officially' done with the electrical passing 

of the house. 

In January all the electrical lines running 

from the outside of the house to the main 

road, had to be ripped out and replaced with

a 'heavier' wire that was able to carry the

load of the house, and get us a 'pass' on 

the electrical inspection. It was NOT a very fun 

2 weeks but I am thankful its now done.

In Feb. the JOC was here and we were blessed

by their visit and all the time and effort they put in

for us here in Jamaica and at En Gedi.

In Feb. I was also able to have a good talk with 

the head of CPFSA (formally CDA) at the

Mandeville office (where we work out of) to

make sure En Gedi was still ok and met all

the requirements with the recent restructuring 

of CDA (Child Development Agency) to CPFSA

(Child Protection & Family Services Agency).

Some of the questions I had for her she was unable

to answer. So I was able to set up a call with the 

head of child placement for CPFSA island wide to try and get 

answers to my questions. Ms Shirley was very

helpful and assured us that we are exactly where

we needed to be.

A few weeks later we got a call that 2 little boys

were in need of some care. We were happy to

be able to say Yes.

 We welcomed 1 month old Little K

He is a little smuggler who is not a fan of mornings.

Thankfully so far nights have not been

bad with him waking up just a few times

and going right back to bed. Please be prayerful

for him as they look to find him a forever family.

 And 5 month old Little M

This boy is perfection! He is so laid back,

I didn't hear him really cry the first 5 days he was

here. He only fusses when he is getting

hungry or tired. Other than that he just

sits and smiles at you, or talks with you,

and chews on his hands.

PRAISE JESUS! He is a rockstar sleeper

and thus far has been sleeping 12-13 hours

a night.

Please be prayerful for him as there is limited

documentation as of now I only know his first name.

I don't have a surname, a birth date. there is no 

immunization book/ for him. Prayers as he gets

placed with his forever family.

 Neiah fell right back into Big Sister mode

with great excitement. I think Little M

would be her favorite as he has now

become her sole student in her class she

teaches, and she now has someone to listen to 

her chat on and on, and he just follows her

around with his eyes and smiles:)

Our first Sabbath going to church with the boys.

Praise Jesus for a great church family 

that jumped in and helped with the boys

so I can still interpret for church.

I am thankful to say I have been contacting

and have found some ladies to run along side us

and help with the boys. Prayers for us all

as we get this all figured out. This is so new for

all of us and a big learning curve for me. Please

be prayerful as we could use some more 'helpers'

especially at night to take care of the boys so I can

get some sleep.

Thanks

Blessings

Erin